Namesake

When I sign my name, or say my name it’s with a flourish. When I extend my arm to introduce myself, a natural confidence flows through my handshake and it makes me smile.

Its not as dramatic as Jumpa Lahiri’s Namesake but my name has a story too.

Its been a while since I bid a tearful fareful to “Vaishnavi Thatha”. Vaishnavi Thatha! Aah! A perfect match! Its not that I am a feminist or anything but somehow after being attached to it for 23 years you kinda get stuck to it. I remember my brother tease me about changing the name , I shrugged it off in my pre-marriage euphoria. To think of it, I changed the name at the drop of a hat. (Psst..Inspite of a lot of paperwork!) I did not even realize I loved “Thatha” so much till the day I went for my Visa Interview months after my wedding. “Can I have your papers Mrs. Gollapudi?” “MRS GOLLAPUDI?????”!!! Me?? ” was my knee-jerk reaction. Responding to this new surname was like responding to a new name altogether! I felt different. I felt not me. I was scared and wondered if I had just made the worst decision of my life! What did I end up doing?! I had always been a happy go lucky person and all of a sudden I remembered a numerologist’s words (Who I thought was spinning a cock and bull story then!!) that said a name is everything to a person. I wondered if I would be impacted with this change? Will my stars change? Will all my luck change? Did I just make a pig in the poke decision?!

My friends have always told me,”Vaishnavi Thatha” is so you”! I don’t know what they meant but apparently even they thought it was my identity.

Fast Forward!

US of A. I played the new kid in the block – new country, new husband, new faces, new culture and new everything! The change in the whole atmosphere helped me to gradually step into the shoes of “Vaishnavi Gollapudi” without much struggles. Yes, you are right! There is a “BUT” factor involved. America doesn’t pronounce my name right. The problem was no longer about my last name. This time the focus was my first name. “Vaayeshnayvee” is the closest to “Vaishnavi” that I have been addressed to. I noticed people start twitching with discomfort when they are introduced to me.

Aydeetya (Yep, that is Aditya) introduces, “Meet my wife, Vaishnavi”.

Vaishnavi says, “Hello, Mr.X. Nice to meet you.”

Mr. X, “Vaa..errr..Vaayeesh.nn…(struggles, stammers)”

Vaish thinks, “Stop trippin man! My name is not that hard to pronounce!

Vaishnavi cuts in trying to salvage her name, “Its VAI-Shh-NAVI”. You can call me VAISH.”

Mr. X,”Oh wow! that is pretty! so exotic! err…Nice to meet you, VAAYEESH”.

The story continues.

You know what was pathetic about the whole thing? Eventually, I started to introducing myself as Vaayeesh and noticed it it only when my uncle called on me for that. Darn! There were times I resented saying my name at dinner reservations, doctor appointment. I just resented the mispronunciation of my name by me or by others. period.

Its been a while now and most of my village calls me Vaish. Things are getting peaceful – around me and IN me. I don’t know if your name is the most important label in life but it is an integral part of your identity.

More on a positive note: Since the movie avatar came on recently, I have been able to get people to understand “Navi”! I am Vaish-Navi..Naavi as in Avatar! Thanks James Cameron!

T. Vaishnavi to Vaishnavi T to Vaishnavi Thatha to Vaishnavi Gollapudi to Vaayeeshnne errrr to Vaayeesh to Vaish-Naavi!

This is has been the evolutionary adventure of my lovely name, In war and peace.

PS: Vaishnavi is incarnation of divine mother, Shakti, Goddess, Consort of Vishnu, the creator.