In school we had something called “Vanamahotsava” where all of us students were made to plant trees. My dad loved what we did and was inspired to start the same tradition at home. As we grew older, I’ll be honest; I have not really done anything for the earth. Except maybe give a $150 donation to Charity: Water, that too because my cousin was raising money for it.

I’m not exactly proud of myself for losing the Nature Club/WWF activist that I was during my teen years.

The past three years, I notice myself being called out by Water. Every place that I’ve been going to, has been influenced by water someway or the other. I have been utterly mesmerized by water and the transfixing worlds that it creates – be it in the raw power of the waterfall at Chalakudy or shaping of the landscape, eroding the land and leaving behind the colossal experience at Grand Canyon, be it the snow peaked mountains at Mammoth, or be it in the marvelous glaciers in the lands of Alaska. The striking beauty of water belies incredible power!  There is something about water. It cannot be compared to anything and yet everything at some point is dependant on it.

Water is so beautiful even in the morning dew or in gentle streams or in an astounding blast of a hot spring. The gurgling sound of the fountain outside breaks the awkward morning silence. Its rhythm takes me back to the old memories of Palghat, Kerala, where I remember gazing out the French windows – taking glances at the gentle drizzle, cuddling with the book of Jeffrey Archer on my mom’s lap. Why, even this morning, I was left gawking at the magnificence of the clouds hovering over the distant LA downtown. What are clouds really? They are simply massive chunks of sheer water.

Why is water so beautiful and captivating? Is it because it reminds me of something? Or is it me just being a “Cancerian” as per Linda Goodman’s book? Or is it because it is a visual delight? A mere hot bath after a long hard working day, can alter your mood altogether. Water makes your soul peaceful and calm.

The melancholic twist to this whole saga of water and its beauty is “Wastage”. To think of it, Water is the most abused and insulted resource. I wish people think twice about wasting water. As an admirer of water, I speak on it behalf and encourage you to conserve water! Happy Earth Day!

Like many of the wives of Software Engineer Mappillais from America, I migrated to US after my college and marriage. 500 N Maryland Ave Apt. 1. My first apartment! I had a grand welcome into the home – No, no! I did not have a big crowd or to receive me or anything but my new husband did this “arti” and had the real “grihapravesham” – rice kicking and stuff for me. It felt straight out of a Shah Rukh movie! Our newly wed blissful life was completely centered on this apartment!

The apartment wasn’t big luxurious, fancy spitting out grandeur or anything. On the contrary it was 1975 built, raggedly old building. In spite of that it was cozy and functional!

My initial reaction to the apartment was that I was so positively psyched by the idea of living in Glendale downtown amidst all the tall buildings! Being a small town girl from Palakkad the city life was so alluring to me then! When I first moved in there was not a single piece of furniture in the house; it was an open floor plan. Adit waited for me to come so that we could pick the furniture and all the related bells and whistles together. So that it reflected on both of us. Little by little furniture here and there or the entertainment center here crept in! The research and shopping for our living room furniture was an adventure by itself. As soon as we furnished the place we were excited to take pictures and call our family back in India on Skype to show what we had done to the place. Yep! We do have before and after pictures! Hehehe!

Experiencing the thrill for the first time on our own was an incredible event for both Adit and me! Freedom! Adit and I have lived through some of our best moments here! I remember the time I cooked my first 4 course South Indian meal for my husband. I was super excited to be cooking for him and to see if he had liked it. Speaking of cooking, this tiny kitchen has seen the best and worst of my cooking. On my very first day, I ruined the garbage disposer and Adit had an episode with the apartment manager – trying to explain to him that his new Indian bride did not know how to use it (Gulp! I put in raw carrot chunks to see if it broke – it really broke it down!)

In spite of the undependable manager, cabinets falling apart, cranky-undependable toilet, noisy neighbors (I’ll never forgive you 24 Hour Fitness & the annoying shredding Company for all the noise that you make!), spider bites, late laundry hours, our experience in our first apartment lived up to its promise and glamour of being all grown up! I love you but nay! I am not going to miss you!!

Rule 1: Gain a lot of life experience:

A key advantage a 20s something year old has, is that its okay to fall. Even if you fail its okay. You can jump right back on your feet. Despite the little fears and insecurities that linger in the background, this is one of those life phases where it still feels like it’s okay to screw up, because “real life” hasn’t started yet. I’m trying to love being 20s with this in mind. Since you just start your career, you understand about your field of expertise better than you were in school. Identify and work on the skills to gain, to get ahead of the game. Experiment and gain as much experience as life offers. Don’t be in a hurry to settle down. Keep an open mind. Travel around, observe people and pick up all the best characters that appeals to you. Enjoy the time you have by indulging in something that stimulates you mentally. I know a lot of 30 year olds who wished that they had done something creative in their 20s when they actually had time.

Rule 2: Financial Education

I think there are valuable financial lessons to learn in 20s and it is so important you get them as soon as possible! When you’ve gained the education and/or skills you need for the career you’ve chosen, and you’re earning money and learning how to handle it, its so important to develop good spending and saving habits, and learning to budget and invest during your twenties. When you make all the short term and long term plans for life I think 20s is the right start to estimate and budget your goals. Enjoy the money you make but be responsible.

Rule 3: Remember that it is normal to feel lost but have a plan:

I still have not figured out why there are chunks of insecurity and anxiety in 20s that I did not have in my teens! There are so many moments when there are conflicting thoughts in your head. But I think I will gain confidence with time and more experience. The fact that I am more confident at 26 than I was at 23 is an assurance. If you feel lost and confused, make a plan about what you want to achieve – make a 5 year plan. What I mean is that its good to set goals. I know for sure that people who have a plan rolled up under their sleeve have a better sleep than those who don’t. Have fun but do not get lost in all the fun. Enjoy the minimal responsibility in 20s. There is room for fun and to experiment. I saw Lindsay Lohan on TV recently. I think she is a perfect example of 20s gone bad. The 22-year-old actress is always going to fabulous parties and supposedly having the time of her life, but is she really? Lohan was arrested twice for drunk driving, had to spend 84 minutes in jail and is now going bankrupt, according to Channel E!. Her friends seem catty and the press is all over her. It must be really stressful. That is something you don’t want.

PS: Sometimes its annoying when someone intrusively asks you “what your plan is”. You know what, you don’t have to say it to them. Just remember these plans are for you. You don’t need any tom, dick and harry’s approval for it.

Rule 4: Have a mentor, surround yourself with a good support system

There’s no faster way to improve than to have someone work with you on your goals. And that is what a mentor does. After I identified my mentor and accepted a mentor, I seem to have a direction in life that I lacked before. There is a lot you can learn from every single person, but a mentor helps you achieve significantly more results than if you had worked alone. Trust me on this one! A lot of things are too complicated to learn by yourself. You can save yourself a lot of time and money by having someone you can ask questions to. It’s important to have Mentors in your life who have “been there.. done that” that you can lean on for guidance, support and advice.

Its crazy in the 20s. Only in 20s can it irk you when a teenager acts like she/he knows it all! You know that the teenager is being an imbecile and on the other hand you are not matured enough to understand that you were the same in your teens!

I’m sure there is something about every decade. But something tells me that 20s has its own special way of creating and changing you!

What do you think? Are your twenties how you thought they would be? If you’re older, what did you think about your twenties versus your life now? What was your favorite age so far? I would love to hear!

Nah, it’s not “awwwweee” worthy. Get real people, if you talk to your co-workers or roommates or best friends, etc. every day, it should not shock you that married people talk. All married people are not enemies. I pity you for the fact that you have never seen a good marriage. Also this is a place where I add that talking on the phone with your spouse everyday during lunch break doesn’t qualify a marriage as “good”. Well, am I saying I am not in a good marriage? Definitely not! Confused? Figure it out…

In times like today when everybody is so cynical and hides in the disguise of “realist”, it is so hard to feel the positive and happy energy. There exists a lot of unmarried people who treat married ones like we belong to another planet and take it for granted that all married people are either quarrelling or resort to snide marks behind each other’s back. I just want to make things clear.

• Misconception 1: All married folks are unhappy
• Misconception 2: In-laws are monsters
• Misconception 3: Sex gets boring after marriage
• Misconception 4: Married folks have no conversations
• Misconception 5: Only the first year of marriage is exciting
• Misconception 6: You need to take an expensive, around the world trip to bring sparks back
• Misconception 7: (This is for the other extreme) Love is the foundation of a marriage
• Misconception 8: Life becomes dull and boring after marriage.

Though love might be the reason the two people are brought together in marriage, it takes trust, understanding and patience (tons of it!) to make it work. With marriage comes so many great things – you are never alone on the dance floor, you always have a date on Saturday night, you have someone special to hug and cozy up to on a cold rainy evening, you have someone to cry to about a bad day and not worry if you make a fugly sob, you have someone who takes care of you when you have a bad migraine for the millionth time. Hmm! The list might seem like a 16 year old’s wishes for a marriage. But you know what – if you find the right person they will be true.
Well, I know that the cynics are going to call me the “lucky” one and that it doesn’t happen to everybody, but most of the marriages I know are amazing ones going rock strong! I am not saying that marriages are smooth and are a piece of cake. There might be tons of fights and ego clashes but the good times outshine the band times for sure.

PS: Dedicated to my brother who just got engaged and will be getting married shortly! And to my husband who has given me the reason to speak highly of marriages!

Its not as dramatic as Jumpa Lahiri’s Namesake but my name has a story too.

Its been a while since I bid a tearful fareful to “Vaishnavi Thatha”. Vaishnavi Thatha! Aah! A perfect match! Its not that I am a feminist or anything but somehow after being attached to it for 23 years you kinda get stuck to it. I remember my brother tease me about changing the name , I shrugged it off in my pre-marriage euphoria. To think of it, I changed the name at the drop of a hat. (Psst..Inspite of a lot of paperwork!) I did not even realize I loved “Thatha” so much till the day I went for my Visa Interview months after my wedding. “Can I have your papers Mrs. Gollapudi?” “MRS GOLLAPUDI?????”!!! Me?? ” was my knee-jerk reaction. Responding to this new surname was like responding to a new name altogether! I felt different. I felt not me. I was scared and wondered if I had just made the worst decision of my life! What did I end up doing?! I had always been a happy go lucky person and all of a sudden I remembered a numerologist’s words (Who I thought was spinning a cock and bull story then!!) that said a name is everything to a person. I wondered if I would be impacted with this change? Will my stars change? Will all my luck change? Did I just make a pig in the poke decision?!

My friends have always told me,”Vaishnavi Thatha” is so you”! I don’t know what they meant but apparently even they thought it was my identity.

Fast Forward!

US of A. I played the new kid in the block – new country, new husband, new faces, new culture and new everything! The change in the whole atmosphere helped me to gradually step into the shoes of “Vaishnavi Gollapudi” without much struggles. Yes, you are right! There is a “BUT” factor involved. America doesn’t pronounce my name right. The problem was no longer about my last name. This time the focus was my first name. “Vaayeshnayvee” is the closest to “Vaishnavi” that I have been addressed to. I noticed people start twitching with discomfort when they are introduced to me.

Aydeetya (Yep, that is Aditya) introduces, “Meet my wife, Vaishnavi”.

Vaishnavi says, “Hello, Mr.X. Nice to meet you.”

Mr. X, “Vaa..errr..Vaayeesh.nn…(struggles, stammers)”

Vaish thinks, “Stop trippin man! My name is not that hard to pronounce!

Vaishnavi cuts in trying to salvage her name, “Its VAI-Shh-NAVI”. You can call me VAISH.”

Mr. X,”Oh wow! that is pretty! so exotic! err…Nice to meet you, VAAYEESH”.

The story continues.

You know what was pathetic about the whole thing? Eventually, I started to introducing myself as Vaayeesh and noticed it it only when my uncle called on me for that. Darn! There were times I resented saying my name at dinner reservations, doctor appointment. I just resented the mispronunciation of my name by me or by others. period.

Its been a while now and most of my village calls me Vaish. Things are getting peaceful – around me and IN me. I don’t know if your name is the most important label in life but it is an integral part of your identity.

More on a positive note: Since the movie avatar came on recently, I have been able to get people to understand “Navi”! I am Vaish-Navi..Naavi as in Avatar! Thanks James Cameron!

T. Vaishnavi to Vaishnavi T to Vaishnavi Thatha to Vaishnavi Gollapudi to Vaayeeshnne errrr to Vaayeesh to Vaish-Naavi!

This is has been the evolutionary adventure of my lovely name, In war and peace.

PS: Vaishnavi is incarnation of divine mother, Shakti, Goddess, Consort of Vishnu, the creator.

When I was a teenager, I remember asking my grandpa how I would know if I was in a recession and he jokingly told me, “Recession is when your neighbor loses his job and depression is when you lose your job.”

I won’t deny that the times are tough but these recessionary times gave me several positive opportunities.

A greater sense of financial responsibility

The fear of the impending doomsday taught us so much about money. For people who get intimidated by numbers, percentages and Excel formulae, I highly recommend Mint.com. We adopted it as our Personal Finance Manager. It is a web application that pulls all money transactions- credit cards, checking/saving/investment accounts and tells your net worth at the end of the day. A single version of truth (Yes, I do work for a BI company!! ) It lets you classify and review your transactions (As groceries, party, vacation, gifts, restaurants, rent, etc). Not only does Mint analyze your spending and earning trends but it also gives you ideas to save! It has made our life so much easier! Well for all you doubting Thomas’s out there – Read this to see how secure mint is.

Finding my feet

The recessionary circumstances around, gave me the opportunity to change my career. I got into Marketing! This was home calling. Nothing like I ever did before. I got to do all the things that I love doing – writing, blogging, being creative and meeting people. I finally got down to brass tacks. And now recently we ventured into an online marketing business and conceived buzz360. Buzz360 is our new baby. Through buzz360 we are focusing to develop solutions in Search Marketing and Social Media Marketing for businesses and people.  To increase the brand awareness, traffic to the website and providing highest level of Internet visibility for our customers is our goal for buzz360. Check out the website for more details.

Ridiculously priced vacation/airline deals

With the recession, the vacations that we would have probably avoided due to sky-high prices became a reality to us! The price spectrum of restaurants, airlines, hotels (& even cruises!!) had so many specials and promos to drum up their business. And we did not leave any stone unturned. We planned everything ahead and found great deals online. Thanks to Orbitz and Expedia & a special thanks to Google!!

(Psst… I will reveal my secrets to finding great deals online in my future blog)

Become politically and financially conscious

The looming recession sparked in tons of financial advice in media that forced me to take notice. (Free Advice!! Love you Suze Orman!) I remember “Economy” being the most powerful topic even in the presidential race.  Without the fear of this recession I would have taken all of this for granted.

 I might sound cockeyed for saying good things can come out of a recession but if you delve deeply into dark economic clouds, it is possible you see a silver lining too.

Plates turned for once. Over a conversation during lunch at work, the room filled with talks about “who can handle spicy food”. And somehow the conversation was dominated by people who could handle spice and they felt superior! And I casually mentioned too that I have inclination to spice. Not in a “showing-off” style but mentioned I generally like spice and don’t prefer bland food. That is when my male co-workers (Male and Female should be classified in different species-well that calls for a different blog altogether!) to my surprise got all competitive and challenged me if I could eat the greatly feared “Habanero Sauce”. I retorted casually, “Well I have never tried it but would love to.” End of the chapter.

The next day came and guess what? I was welcomed into the lunch room with sneers and jeers from my peers! They held the grail filled with the only and only…oh dare I utter the word…The formidable- “Habanero sauce”!

I do have to admit, I did feel nervous with eyes gawking over me…eyes that begged me to fail…eyes that longed me see me cripple down suffering the burn from the spice! Well, one of the guys was a little sympathetic and offered rice to eat it with sauce (Glad he was!). I mixed it with mixed feelings and closed my eyes and took a deep breath and reluctantly ate it. Guess what! It was not bad as I expected. On the contrary, It was home calling! It was awesome!!! Wasn’t I glad they made me eat it! It was super hot super spicy! I ate some more and left the room feeling pleased and soaked in pride. The guys looked shocked in disbelief that I liked it. You think they accepted my prowess in the field of karam? No way, its ‘guys’ we are talking about- they accused me of eating it just to prove my point. But do I care, Nope. I felt victorious!

Long forgotten, after a couple of hours, all of a sudden I felt a pang of pain in my abdomen. It deepened and the pain consumed me. I knew what caused it – of course the notorious “Habanero” sauce! As my head awakened to that very fact my worry of pain turned to shame. What is wrong with me? Why did I have to eat more of the sauce? Though I got to see their lovely expressions of shock when I tasted it, it is definitely not worth the pain in my tummy! I let the pressure get to me. I am not a teenager. I am in my mid 20s and nothing stopped me from feeling competitive to prove my point. In a weird sense all of a sudden I understood why kids get caught in alcohols & drugs succumbing to pressure.

Moral Of the story:

3.3 Oz of Habanero Sauce-$1.19

Look of Shock on coworker’s faces – Cost of a severe tummy-ache

Lesson learnt- Priceless!

Fading memories lurk in my mind,
as I watch you sleep.
Thoughts when life was yet so kind,
when I knew you were to keep.

When did I turn to your love so blind
were cruel scrutiny began to creep
Heedless to good intentions to find,
all I did was weep.

Sorrows, regrets and other issues to grind,
dark thoughts hide  within so deep.
All I need is your arms on me to bind
to let the rays of warmth to seep.

Please hold me and help me unwind
I promise into a better place shall I leap.
I thank for being in my life a rind,
love for you has begun to heap.

Destined we were in my sights hind,
when in my life you began to peep.
Many seasons have passed since love we have mined,
And I say, its time we begin to reap.

Strange Quest for Love II, is a poem very close to my heart. It reflects a woman’s state of mind when she is emancipating herself from her complex thoughts. She feels the lamentation when she realizes how she has taken her partner for granted. In the course of the poem, she decides to let go her past.
This is my bit to Drama/Serious Poetry. Not bad eh?