Reason, Rhyme, Rant » Rant http://pickles.gollapudi.org Pickles in my head Tue, 03 May 2011 06:59:38 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Prix of emotions http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2011/02/prix-of-emotions/ http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2011/02/prix-of-emotions/#comments Wed, 16 Feb 2011 16:58:16 +0000 Vaishnavi http://pickles.gollapudi.org/?p=358 Feeling butterflies in me

I am as tangled as one can be…

The odds of her finding the key,

Seems to send me through a frenzy

This is a moment I must be glee

Then why do I feel like I need to pay the fee?

Today I sit by myself fearfully,

Since it it is the day I decide not to flee.

Kneeling before the universe, I plea

Please release me and let me be free.

In the end all that matters is only family,

And I pray things go on quite happily.

I call this a prix of emotions because I believe that life offers a complete meal of assorted moments – it offers choices too but it comes at a fixed price.

]]> http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2011/02/prix-of-emotions/feed/ 0 First Apartment: Promise and glamour of being all grown up http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2010/04/first-apartment-promise-and-glamour-of-being-all-grown-up/ http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2010/04/first-apartment-promise-and-glamour-of-being-all-grown-up/#comments Thu, 15 Apr 2010 02:20:08 +0000 Vaishnavi http://pickles.gollapudi.org/?p=253 My husband and I are in the process of packing up all our stuff to rent out another apartment for various reasons. Yesterday, while packing, all of a sudden we realized that it was our first apartment out of our mother ship! We have created so many memories here! This apartment has seen us fight and make up, seen us dance and sing, seen us be silly and goofy, seen us mature and childish, seen us in secured and later a ninja fight… Oh my god! It has seen so many things. You know what; it has seen the chunk of our “tumultuous twenties”! Why!! This is where we even first started our buzz360! We love our creative corner to read, write, paint and blog! Adit’s hi-tech gizmo corner was truly one of a kind! Pictures of our favorite moments and family adorning the wall; I loved our cozy bedroom with a huge window overlooking the downtown. This apartment was my home for the past 3 years and adit’s for the past 5 years!

Like many of the wives of Software Engineer Mappillais from America, I migrated to US after my college and marriage. 500 N Maryland Ave Apt. 1. My first apartment! I had a grand welcome into the home – No, no! I did not have a big crowd or to receive me or anything but my new husband did this “arti” and had the real “grihapravesham” – rice kicking and stuff for me. It felt straight out of a Shah Rukh movie! Our newly wed blissful life was completely centered on this apartment!

The apartment wasn’t big luxurious, fancy spitting out grandeur or anything. On the contrary it was 1975 built, raggedly old building. In spite of that it was cozy and functional!

My initial reaction to the apartment was that I was so positively psyched by the idea of living in Glendale downtown amidst all the tall buildings! Being a small town girl from Palakkad the city life was so alluring to me then! ;) When I first moved in there was not a single piece of furniture in the house; it was an open floor plan. Adit waited for me to come so that we could pick the furniture and all the related bells and whistles together. So that it reflected on both of us. Little by little furniture here and there or the entertainment center here crept in! The research and shopping for our living room furniture was an adventure by itself. As soon as we furnished the place we were excited to take pictures and call our family back in India on Skype to show what we had done to the place. Yep! We do have before and after pictures! Hehehe!

Experiencing the thrill for the first time on our own was an incredible event for both Adit and me! Freedom! Adit and I have lived through some of our best moments here! I remember the time I cooked my first 4 course South Indian meal for my husband. I was super excited to be cooking for him and to see if he had liked it. Speaking of cooking, this tiny kitchen has seen the best and worst of my cooking. On my very first day, I ruined the garbage disposer and Adit had an episode with the apartment manager – trying to explain to him that his new Indian bride did not know how to use it (Gulp! I put in raw carrot chunks to see if it broke – it really broke it down!)

In spite of the undependable manager, cabinets falling apart, cranky-undependable toilet, noisy neighbors (I’ll never forgive you 24 Hour Fitness & the annoying shredding Company for all the noise that you make!), spider bites, late laundry hours, our experience in our first apartment lived up to its promise and glamour of being all grown up! I love you but nay! I am not going to miss you!! ;)

]]> http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2010/04/first-apartment-promise-and-glamour-of-being-all-grown-up/feed/ 4 Wearing Seinfeld’s hat http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2009/06/wearing-sienfelds-hat/ http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2009/06/wearing-sienfelds-hat/#comments Sun, 07 Jun 2009 06:10:03 +0000 Vaishnavi http://pickles.gollapudi.org/?p=51 One of my friends called me after a long time. He had messed up his love life. Though I was honored to be an “aunt agony” back in my school days,  I am not very patient with people who refuse to use their brains to clean up their mess anymore. Anyways, I felt responsible for my past reputation and honestly tried to sound very sympathetic.

Well, let me give you the background picture. I had not heard from this guy for months now. I have always supported him through all his mish-mash of his life. He always came to came to me to cry about something or the other.

So coming back to the story, I tried to do justice to my public image and lent my shoulder to cry on as usual. We did have several sessions and one day when he felt better and things were returning to normal in his life he calls me to say, “Vaish, I can’t thank you enough.”

Sigh!!! Another “I can’t thank you enough…”line in my life.

Seriously, why cant people thank you enough? Why do people think that just by saying “I can’t thank you enough that they have thanked you enough? Doesn’t “Thank You” weigh much more than “I can’t thank you enough”? If people feel indebted, they have to thank or atleast thank enough.  There is no word “can’t” in the dictionary , if you try hard I am sure you can thank enough. Its just sad how people give up just like that. Hah! “Can’t thank you enough!!!” Maybe some day it would be illegal to use the phrase, “I can’t thank you enough!”

]]> http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2009/06/wearing-sienfelds-hat/feed/ 2 Addicted to Sulking http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2009/03/addicted-to-sulking/ http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2009/03/addicted-to-sulking/#comments Fri, 06 Mar 2009 01:30:31 +0000 Vaishnavi http://pickles.gollapudi.org/?p=20

“Once upon a time..stories were real and dreams came true…”

I can’t help but be angry with a girl back in my college who asked me, “Why are you always smiling? What is there in your life that makes you so happy?”

I sure believe she jinxed my life.

I was surely a happy go lucky person couple of years back. I knew no worries. I was in love with myself and my world of possibilities. Well what am I now? I am still lucky, now its just perennially-grumpy and sad – go lucky person.

What makes me more sad is that inspite of everything being great and knowing that I am lucky, I am stubborn on being sad. Why can’t I be grateful and happy?

I guess I just miss being a kid. I miss my innocence. I am hating every bit of my 20s.

I woke up this morning feeling good. Enthusiastic and relatively energetic. I had an exciting morning at work, my co-workers complimented my dress, my husband sent a “love you” text message and yet I do have reasons to stay grumpy. I see my self becoming a quintessential whiner.

It began like this: One day, I was grumpy, The next day, I was grumpy about still being grumpy. And next, I got grumpier knowing I am adamant on being grumpy. And now, I feel sad and grumpy that I am not doing anything about it.  Honestly, I feel stuck in this vicious cycle.

The profound part of my head thinks that I am about to embark on a philosophical journey -  searching for inner peace…like Gautama Buddha. Feeling frustrated with life in spite of enjoying the comforts of life. The scientific part of my brain thinks that it might be my estrogen going haywire. The practical part of my brain thinks that I have just gone nuts and that I should move on and stop being a mope.

I hope today is the last day of my internal struggle.  Do I ever have to fight with myself again? I hope not.

]]> http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2009/03/addicted-to-sulking/feed/ 2 Ad-venturing into the dentist office http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2008/04/ad-venturing-into-the-dentist-office/ http://pickles.gollapudi.org/2008/04/ad-venturing-into-the-dentist-office/#comments Thu, 10 Apr 2008 03:28:21 +0000 Vaishnavi http://pickles.gollapudi.org/?p=15 It won’t surprise me if your reaction to this (very valid and important) topic is “Yawn… what is so amusing about your trip to a dentist??” Well, a person who has ever been to the dentist for a filling would agree with me here.

A long anticipating wait, the embarrassment of being the one with the rotting tooth (especially if the dentist’s evil elf is a cute one!), the agony of opening your jaw forever (You wonder-has the time stopped???), your appeal for clemency (on the sight of tiny but powerful looking diabolic munitions), intimidating light glaring at your face) which you don’t understand why is enraged at you), gushing and drilling din… Sigh!!!!!!! The endless list! It is a frightening war you can’t escape. It is a battle between you and the persistent dentist!!!

The after-thoughts of the entire ordeal made me tumble upon one hell of a realization- Man! I am not surprised that it was the dentist who invented the electric chair!!!

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