Nah, it’s not “awwwweee” worthy. Get real people, if you talk to your co-workers or roommates or best friends, etc. every day, it should not shock you that married people talk. All married people are not enemies. I pity you for the fact that you have never seen a good marriage. Also this is a place where I add that talking on the phone with your spouse everyday during lunch break doesn’t qualify a marriage as “good”. Well, am I saying I am not in a good marriage? Definitely not! Confused? Figure it out…

In times like today when everybody is so cynical and hides in the disguise of “realist”, it is so hard to feel the positive and happy energy. There exists a lot of unmarried people who treat married ones like we belong to another planet and take it for granted that all married people are either quarrelling or resort to snide marks behind each other’s back. I just want to make things clear.

• Misconception 1: All married folks are unhappy
• Misconception 2: In-laws are monsters
• Misconception 3: Sex gets boring after marriage
• Misconception 4: Married folks have no conversations
• Misconception 5: Only the first year of marriage is exciting
• Misconception 6: You need to take an expensive, around the world trip to bring sparks back
• Misconception 7: (This is for the other extreme) Love is the foundation of a marriage
• Misconception 8: Life becomes dull and boring after marriage.

Though love might be the reason the two people are brought together in marriage, it takes trust, understanding and patience (tons of it!) to make it work. With marriage comes so many great things – you are never alone on the dance floor, you always have a date on Saturday night, you have someone special to hug and cozy up to on a cold rainy evening, you have someone to cry to about a bad day and not worry if you make a fugly sob, you have someone who takes care of you when you have a bad migraine for the millionth time. Hmm! The list might seem like a 16 year old’s wishes for a marriage. But you know what – if you find the right person they will be true.
Well, I know that the cynics are going to call me the “lucky” one and that it doesn’t happen to everybody, but most of the marriages I know are amazing ones going rock strong! I am not saying that marriages are smooth and are a piece of cake. There might be tons of fights and ego clashes but the good times outshine the band times for sure.

PS: Dedicated to my brother who just got engaged and will be getting married shortly! And to my husband who has given me the reason to speak highly of marriages!

Its not as dramatic as Jumpa Lahiri’s Namesake but my name has a story too.

Its been a while since I bid a tearful fareful to “Vaishnavi Thatha”. Vaishnavi Thatha! Aah! A perfect match! Its not that I am a feminist or anything but somehow after being attached to it for 23 years you kinda get stuck to it. I remember my brother tease me about changing the name , I shrugged it off in my pre-marriage euphoria. To think of it, I changed the name at the drop of a hat. (Psst..Inspite of a lot of paperwork!) I did not even realize I loved “Thatha” so much till the day I went for my Visa Interview months after my wedding. “Can I have your papers Mrs. Gollapudi?” “MRS GOLLAPUDI?????”!!! Me?? ” was my knee-jerk reaction. Responding to this new surname was like responding to a new name altogether! I felt different. I felt not me. I was scared and wondered if I had just made the worst decision of my life! What did I end up doing?! I had always been a happy go lucky person and all of a sudden I remembered a numerologist’s words (Who I thought was spinning a cock and bull story then!!) that said a name is everything to a person. I wondered if I would be impacted with this change? Will my stars change? Will all my luck change? Did I just make a pig in the poke decision?!

My friends have always told me,”Vaishnavi Thatha” is so you”! I don’t know what they meant but apparently even they thought it was my identity.

Fast Forward!

US of A. I played the new kid in the block – new country, new husband, new faces, new culture and new everything! The change in the whole atmosphere helped me to gradually step into the shoes of “Vaishnavi Gollapudi” without much struggles. Yes, you are right! There is a “BUT” factor involved. America doesn’t pronounce my name right. The problem was no longer about my last name. This time the focus was my first name. “Vaayeshnayvee” is the closest to “Vaishnavi” that I have been addressed to. I noticed people start twitching with discomfort when they are introduced to me.

Aydeetya (Yep, that is Aditya) introduces, “Meet my wife, Vaishnavi”.

Vaishnavi says, “Hello, Mr.X. Nice to meet you.”

Mr. X, “Vaa..errr..Vaayeesh.nn…(struggles, stammers)”

Vaish thinks, “Stop trippin man! My name is not that hard to pronounce!

Vaishnavi cuts in trying to salvage her name, “Its VAI-Shh-NAVI”. You can call me VAISH.”

Mr. X,”Oh wow! that is pretty! so exotic! err…Nice to meet you, VAAYEESH”.

The story continues.

You know what was pathetic about the whole thing? Eventually, I started to introducing myself as Vaayeesh and noticed it it only when my uncle called on me for that. Darn! There were times I resented saying my name at dinner reservations, doctor appointment. I just resented the mispronunciation of my name by me or by others. period.

Its been a while now and most of my village calls me Vaish. Things are getting peaceful – around me and IN me. I don’t know if your name is the most important label in life but it is an integral part of your identity.

More on a positive note: Since the movie avatar came on recently, I have been able to get people to understand “Navi”! I am Vaish-Navi..Naavi as in Avatar! Thanks James Cameron!

T. Vaishnavi to Vaishnavi T to Vaishnavi Thatha to Vaishnavi Gollapudi to Vaayeeshnne errrr to Vaayeesh to Vaish-Naavi!

This is has been the evolutionary adventure of my lovely name, In war and peace.

PS: Vaishnavi is incarnation of divine mother, Shakti, Goddess, Consort of Vishnu, the creator.

When I was a teenager, I remember asking my grandpa how I would know if I was in a recession and he jokingly told me, “Recession is when your neighbor loses his job and depression is when you lose your job.”

I won’t deny that the times are tough but these recessionary times gave me several positive opportunities.

A greater sense of financial responsibility

The fear of the impending doomsday taught us so much about money. For people who get intimidated by numbers, percentages and Excel formulae, I highly recommend Mint.com. We adopted it as our Personal Finance Manager. It is a web application that pulls all money transactions- credit cards, checking/saving/investment accounts and tells your net worth at the end of the day. A single version of truth (Yes, I do work for a BI company!! ) It lets you classify and review your transactions (As groceries, party, vacation, gifts, restaurants, rent, etc). Not only does Mint analyze your spending and earning trends but it also gives you ideas to save! It has made our life so much easier! Well for all you doubting Thomas’s out there – Read this to see how secure mint is.

Finding my feet

The recessionary circumstances around, gave me the opportunity to change my career. I got into Marketing! This was home calling. Nothing like I ever did before. I got to do all the things that I love doing – writing, blogging, being creative and meeting people. I finally got down to brass tacks. And now recently we ventured into an online marketing business and conceived buzz360. Buzz360 is our new baby. Through buzz360 we are focusing to develop solutions in Search Marketing and Social Media Marketing for businesses and people.  To increase the brand awareness, traffic to the website and providing highest level of Internet visibility for our customers is our goal for buzz360. Check out the website for more details.

Ridiculously priced vacation/airline deals

With the recession, the vacations that we would have probably avoided due to sky-high prices became a reality to us! The price spectrum of restaurants, airlines, hotels (& even cruises!!) had so many specials and promos to drum up their business. And we did not leave any stone unturned. We planned everything ahead and found great deals online. Thanks to Orbitz and Expedia & a special thanks to Google!!

(Psst… I will reveal my secrets to finding great deals online in my future blog)

Become politically and financially conscious

The looming recession sparked in tons of financial advice in media that forced me to take notice. (Free Advice!! Love you Suze Orman!) I remember “Economy” being the most powerful topic even in the presidential race.  Without the fear of this recession I would have taken all of this for granted.

 I might sound cockeyed for saying good things can come out of a recession but if you delve deeply into dark economic clouds, it is possible you see a silver lining too.

I have beaten bushes wrecking my foot gears.

Why have you hidden from my eyes?

Did you not hear my cries?

You are as valued as “true love” to a lass,

Did I not find you since I gained more mass?

In the core of my heart, knew I’ll find you in my way…

Truly, I did not care about the price to pay!

Holding aces, I couldn’t believe my lucky star,

When I walked into this Glendale Bazaar!

Holding you, not wanting to get my hopes high,

I bore you, and My My My!!!!

Hearing bells ring, I saw a light…

I thanked gods for understanding my plight.

Hugging my body in ideal means,

I’m so glad I found you my perfect jeans!!

Plates turned for once. Over a conversation during lunch at work, the room filled with talks about “who can handle spicy food”. And somehow the conversation was dominated by people who could handle spice and they felt superior! And I casually mentioned too that I have inclination to spice. Not in a “showing-off” style but mentioned I generally like spice and don’t prefer bland food. That is when my male co-workers (Male and Female should be classified in different species-well that calls for a different blog altogether!) to my surprise got all competitive and challenged me if I could eat the greatly feared “Habanero Sauce”. I retorted casually, “Well I have never tried it but would love to.” End of the chapter.

The next day came and guess what? I was welcomed into the lunch room with sneers and jeers from my peers! They held the grail filled with the only and only…oh dare I utter the word…The formidable- “Habanero sauce”!

I do have to admit, I did feel nervous with eyes gawking over me…eyes that begged me to fail…eyes that longed me see me cripple down suffering the burn from the spice! Well, one of the guys was a little sympathetic and offered rice to eat it with sauce (Glad he was!). I mixed it with mixed feelings and closed my eyes and took a deep breath and reluctantly ate it. Guess what! It was not bad as I expected. On the contrary, It was home calling! It was awesome!!! Wasn’t I glad they made me eat it! It was super hot super spicy! I ate some more and left the room feeling pleased and soaked in pride. The guys looked shocked in disbelief that I liked it. You think they accepted my prowess in the field of karam? No way, its ‘guys’ we are talking about- they accused me of eating it just to prove my point. But do I care, Nope. I felt victorious!

Long forgotten, after a couple of hours, all of a sudden I felt a pang of pain in my abdomen. It deepened and the pain consumed me. I knew what caused it – of course the notorious “Habanero” sauce! As my head awakened to that very fact my worry of pain turned to shame. What is wrong with me? Why did I have to eat more of the sauce? Though I got to see their lovely expressions of shock when I tasted it, it is definitely not worth the pain in my tummy! I let the pressure get to me. I am not a teenager. I am in my mid 20s and nothing stopped me from feeling competitive to prove my point. In a weird sense all of a sudden I understood why kids get caught in alcohols & drugs succumbing to pressure.

Moral Of the story:

3.3 Oz of Habanero Sauce-$1.19

Look of Shock on coworker’s faces – Cost of a severe tummy-ache

Lesson learnt- Priceless!

How old am I? Old enough to want to hide it.

This birthday marks differently from the other birthdays so far… to my very own surprise, I am tired of making new resolutions. Most of my resolutions are born out of my dreams. How will my dreams come true if I don’t wake up? Huh?

This blog reflects my state of mind – feeling grown up. I finally understand why grown-ups are more confused than the kids. 

I am amidst of starting a new and exciting marketing project, I had many brilliant ideas and felt so proud of myself when I submitted the plan to my boss. It was my brain child. The plan was born out of my own thoughts and ideas. If you ask me to judge the plan I would say it was comprehensive and crisp. I gave myself a pat on the back and went ahead with the project. Well, the bewilderment started when I  began reading more and gathering new information- I felt lost, I panicked and was less confident about my work. Its true that my work contained great information but now (Gulp!!) I know all the holes that existed my plan.  Truly sometimes knowing less is good!

That was in the work scenario…a similar situation in my personal life too. Next month, my marriage would complete 3 years. Thank god the “troublesome 2″ is phasing out! Oh yeah, like to the babies, it applies to marriage too!! When I got married to Adit, we had dated for 5 years. And I honestly was confident about knowing all about him BUT hey, hell no! Marriage is full of surprises and err…shocks. The more I knew him, the more I knew how less I knew him!

But the silver lining is that I am old enough to understand that feeling like I know less will keep me going! It keeps my ears and eyes open to absorb more. Let me go now- there is so much to learn!

Fading memories lurk in my mind,
as I watch you sleep.
Thoughts when life was yet so kind,
when I knew you were to keep.

When did I turn to your love so blind
were cruel scrutiny began to creep
Heedless to good intentions to find,
all I did was weep.

Sorrows, regrets and other issues to grind,
dark thoughts hide  within so deep.
All I need is your arms on me to bind
to let the rays of warmth to seep.

Please hold me and help me unwind
I promise into a better place shall I leap.
I thank for being in my life a rind,
love for you has begun to heap.

Destined we were in my sights hind,
when in my life you began to peep.
Many seasons have passed since love we have mined,
And I say, its time we begin to reap.

Strange Quest for Love II, is a poem very close to my heart. It reflects a woman’s state of mind when she is emancipating herself from her complex thoughts. She feels the lamentation when she realizes how she has taken her partner for granted. In the course of the poem, she decides to let go her past.
This is my bit to Drama/Serious Poetry. Not bad eh?

Well, let me give you the background picture. I had not heard from this guy for months now. I have always supported him through all his mish-mash of his life. He always came to came to me to cry about something or the other.

So coming back to the story, I tried to do justice to my public image and lent my shoulder to cry on as usual. We did have several sessions and one day when he felt better and things were returning to normal in his life he calls me to say, “Vaish, I can’t thank you enough.”

Sigh!!! Another “I can’t thank you enough…”line in my life.

Seriously, why cant people thank you enough? Why do people think that just by saying “I can’t thank you enough that they have thanked you enough? Doesn’t “Thank You” weigh much more than “I can’t thank you enough”? If people feel indebted, they have to thank or atleast thank enough.  There is no word “can’t” in the dictionary , if you try hard I am sure you can thank enough. Its just sad how people give up just like that. Hah! “Can’t thank you enough!!!” Maybe some day it would be illegal to use the phrase, “I can’t thank you enough!”

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