Wearing Seinfeld’s hat

Vaishnavi — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 06:10:03 +0000

One of my friends called me after a long time. He had messed up his love life. Though I was honored to be an “aunt agony” back in my school days, I am not very patient with people who refuse to use their brains to clean up their mess anymore. Anyways, I felt responsible for my past reputation and honestly tried to sound very sympathetic.

Well, let me give you the background picture. I had not heard from this guy for months now. I have always supported him through all his mish-mash of his life. He always came to came to me to cry about something or the other.

So coming back to the story, I tried to do justice to my public image and lent my shoulder to cry on as usual. We did have several sessions and one day when he felt better and things were returning to normal in his life he calls me to say, “Vaish, I can’t thank you enough.”

Sigh!!! Another “I can’t thank you enough…”line in my life.

Seriously, why cant people thank you enough? Why do people think that just by saying “I can’t thank you enough that they have thanked you enough? Doesn’t “Thank You” weigh much more than “I can’t thank you enough”? If people feel indebted, they have to thank or atleast thank enough. There is no word “can’t” in the dictionary , if you try hard I am sure you can thank enough. Its just sad how people give up just like that. Hah! “Can’t thank you enough!!!” Maybe some day it would be illegal to use the phrase, “I can’t thank you enough!”

Situation: EMERGENCY!!!!!!!

Vaishnavi — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 03:02:05 +0000

Scene from ward at Hospital Turbulence:

“Talent Writing” is admitted in the ICU and is on the life support system “Hope Adivon”. Dr. Brain discusses the situation with one of her family members Heart De Vaish.

Heart De Vaish: You think she’ll make it???? (Sounding anxious)

Dr Brain: The condition is critical and nothing can be said at the moment (sounding serious and grim)

Heart De Vaish: What do you think is wrong with her Doctor??

Dr. Brain: Her ECG (Esoteric Creative Graph) shows weak hope rate. Till her body pumps its own “Faith” she will be on life support “Hope Adivon” which btw is multifunctional. It is analogous to her own “Faith”.

Heart De Vaish: Ok… But why is this happening doctor??? Never did we realize that she had issues. She was perfectly healthy till sometime back. (Sounding sad)

Dr. Brain: I am sorry to tell you this but she is a tension addict. She is in paralysis. This I suspect is because of the way she has abused time. And she is suffering from severe “lazyiitis”. The tests report has shown “idle mind and body” which we believe has made her “confidence” very low. This in turn has made her susceptible to different viruses, deadliest of the lot being “virus X”.

Heart De Vaish: Good Lord!!!!!!!! Doctor!!!!! Everything is in your hands now!!! Please help!!!

Dr. Brain: Well, “Hope Adivon” will for time being keep her alive and will also fight “virus X”. But end of the day, it’s her body that should be able to pump its own “Faith”. Let’s wait and see.

Heart De Vaish: How can I help her doctor????

Dr. Brain: Actually I can save her now, but to keep her alive, you have a big role to play. I recommend high doses of “optimism” and “prayer” daily for lifetime. And also please help her stay away from “jobless internet chatting”. This will control her “lazyiitis”

Heart De Vaish: Hey… I think she is waking up!!!!

Talent writing is seen battling her eyelids.

Heart De Vaish and Dr. Brain rush to her bedside.

Talent writing: “Mein kaun hoon????? Mein kahan hoon?????” (Whimpers)

Heart De Vaish (sounding a little relieved): Looks like she will survive!!! Sigh!!!!

Dr. Brain (looking relieved!): This is a miracle. Babe! I did my work, now things are in your hand!

Heart De Vaish holds talent writing hands and smiles lovingly.

CURTAINS FALL

Reason, Rhyme, Rant » sarcasm

Wearing Seinfeld’s hat

Situation: EMERGENCY!!!!!!!